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Dear Kids,

It is 6:30 AM, Friday morning, Jan 28, and I have just come home from
the hospital, where Katherine gave birth to Jack, at about 4:30 AM.

Jack is a handsome little boy, with lots of dark hair, huge hands, long
legs and a pinched, wrinkled face. After several hours of waiting, I
finally got to go in and see him. He was basking under the heat lamp,
pasted all over with those round sensors (when you are so tiny, a
1-inch diameter patch can cover a surprisingly large proportion of your
body… and when you are decorated with four of them.. well, you are
practically dressed) and, finally, contented. While Corey made his
closed eyes go squishy-extra-hard-shut with his camera flashes, I just
admired his competent breathing. See, he’s already mastered that.
Breathing. Deep, deep breaths, and, occasionally, a little half-hearted
wail. I could tell his heart was not in the effort… he was just
practicing super-breathing, and the little cries were more like
super-breathing exhaust.

Speaking of breathing, Jack was pretty poor at it, at first…
the breathing. The chord got wrapped around his neck, and he dropped
into this world an amazing blue color. The doctor called down to the
ER, started giving chest massage, administered oxygen… and generally
did all she could do to frighten your poor mother, to say nothing of
Jack’s mother!. Jackee and Katherine were both pretty shaken, but, as I
said earlier, Jack paid them no attention… he was busy learning to
breathe. I actually missed this drama, as I was banned from the
delivery room by Katherine… she let Corey and Jackee in, but said I
was over the limit … her shyness limit.

I was able to visit with the anesthesiologist as he was leaving and he
said that Jack learned how to breathe so quickly that it just was not a
big deal. He said the babies to worry about are those that just lie
there… after a chord-around-the-neck delivery, and remain listless,
blue, un-crying, lungs full of fluid, for minutes and minutes. Not our
Jack: he got right to it. He did need a bit of suction, on account of
getting a little confused about the breathing-drinking thing, while he
was waiting for Katherine to relax her skinny hips and let go of him.

Anyway, the nurses and staff were very busy… sewing up Katherine, and
cleaning up Jack. I did not get to see him for hours and hours… which
I truly do NOT understand: how dirty can a baby get, anyway, in so
short a time? I mean, it took them at least two hours to wash him, and
clothe him in those four round adhesive patches.

Personally, I think it is a scam. I think the nurses are conspiring to
charge “admission” to roll up the nursery blinds. There I was, a
want-to-be-proud grandfather, nose pressed to the nursery-room windows
(and making quite a mess of them), unable to see anything but the
nurses shoes. I mean, those nurses had the venitian blinds on those
windows fully down, and shuttered closed. I think they were wasting
time, or playing with Jack, or making fun of his wrinkled face… I
don’t really know what, but it is certain they were not cleaning him
all that time.

Well, on second thought, Jack is a boy…. and if, behind shuttered
blinds, he wreaked havoc in the nursery, to such an extent that it took
three nurses two hours to clean up after him… look out, Katherine and
Corey!!! You are going to have your hands full.

Love,

Dad, Grandpa Jones